The Adventures of Kita and Yumi
by ScarlettsFuneral
Summary: All characters, hilarious crack-fic! Utterly random, and awesome because everyone loves explosions and cake! Please READ & REVIEW FOR COOKIES! XD
1. Intro

A/N: This is one of the longest, most random stories that I've ever written. I love it, and Kita and Yumi, who are just plain crazy (and pyromaniacs forget that one) Oh well, I don't think that they're Mary-sues, but if they are, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Whaa! No, I don't think that they are.

Characters are mostly Death Note, but there are a couple of references to Naruto characters in the beginning, and I think that Gaara shows up momentarily a lot later. JUST ABOUT EVER CHARACTER IS OOC. Please keep that in mind. That is all.

I OWN **NOTHING, **except for Kita, Yumi, Keiko and Okami.

Now on with the story! XD Enjoy!

:~:~:~:

"Yumi! Yumi! Yumi!" thirteen-year-old Kita Akuma ran up to her best friend, and sister, Yumi.

"What? What? What?" fourteen-year-old Yumi Akuma answered, running up to meet the other girl.

"Hi! Hi! Hi!" Kita answered, grinning.

"So… what's up?" Yumi asked.

"Nothing really."

"Really?"

"No, not really! I have the most major of major news!" Kita exclaimed.

"What is it?"

"Remember when we went to Paris Australia, Paris France, a bunch of European countries that no one could locate if their life depended on it, and Japan?"

"Yeah, that was like two weeks ago."

"Yes, but someone was following us the whole time and wrote a story!"

"Awesome!!!" exclaimed Yumi.

"I know! We're famous!"

"We're Guam's most famous people!"

"Yay!" they squealed, hugging each other and jumping up and down.

"What were the people's names?" Yumi asked.

"I don't know… I think it might have been Joe and Larry…"

"Yay! You know, we should go explore the other side of the world, too."

"What do you mean?"

"North America, South America, and possibly Antarctica."

"Okay!"

"Let's go soon."

"Why "soon"? Why not now?" Kita asked, not happy with the word "soon".

"I have some stuff to do."

"Like…?"

"We have to mail Gaara back to Paris Australia."

"Oh yeah…."

Recently Gaara had run away to Iceland from Paris Australia.

"Where is he?" Kita asked.

"Iceland. He ran away from Paris Australia three days ago because he wanted to go see Kankuro."

"Why?"

"He hadn't fed Kankuro his Meow Mix for a while, remember?"

"I didn't think he was serious."

"Well…neither did I. But apparently he was… quite… serious."

A girl screamed in the distance, and ran towards them.

"Keiko!" Yumi exclaimed.

"Who's Keiko?" Kita asked, confused.

"I don't know… she just looks like her name's Keiko," Yumi answered with a shrug.

"Oh. Well then… Keiko!"

They ran up and hugged Keiko.

"Who are you?" Keiko asked, wanting to know who the two strangers hugging her were.

"I'm Yumi, this is Kita, and you're Keiko!"

"My name's not Keiko!"

"It's not?"

"No! It's Angela."

"Well, you look like a Keiko, so that's what we're going to call you."

"I hate you!"

"That's not nice, Keiko!"

"That's _not _my name!"

Somewhere in the background "That's Not My Name" played in the distance.

"Wow. Coincidental."

"Ah~hgh!" Light screamed like a girl as he ran from L, who was chasing him with a make-up kit.

"Come on Light-Kun! Misa-san said that I need more practice!"

"What do you mean?" asked Light who was still running. "You shouldn't even be learning how to put on make-up! You're a guy, right!"

"But Misa-Misa said that I need to practice my application technique on a guy who looks like a girl."

"Shut up or I'll kill you!"

"59%!"

Light face-palmed too hard and knocked himself out.

"Light-kun… Li~ight-kun. Light-kun? Light-kun!"

"Agh! Get out of my dreams Ryuzaki!" Light shot up and accidentally knocked his forehead against Ryuzaki's.

"62% percent chance you're Kira," L rubbed his head. "And 10% chance you're gay."

Light slipped back into unconsciousness, his hands around L's throat in a sad attempt to strangle him.

Keiko took the time while everyone was watching Light and L as a chance to escape.

"Hey, where did Keiko go?" Yumi asked.

"She got away."

"Oh well. I guess it can't be helped. But at least we don't have to deal with any more psycho people like her for a while."

Kita watched as another girl ran up to them. "Hey, who is that?"

"I lost him again!" the girl cried. "I even had him on a leash this time! It was a chain one too. But he used the flamethrower that he swallowed to break through it."

"Who, what, and where did he get a flamethrower to swallow?!"

"Sasuke! I've had him locked in my basement for the past two years, and he escaped! Oh, and I gave the flamethrower to him. He was trying to throw my cat at the door because he wanted to open it the right way, but I screamed at him not to, so he apologized, and I had to take him out to get ice cream. But then he wanted something else to do, so I got into the gun safe and gave him the flamethrower."

"What possessed you to give him that?!"

"Weeeeeelllllllllll… I don't know. But guess what? He swallowed it!"

"Yeah…" said Yumi.

"Tacos!!!"

"Ummm…."

"What was he doing in your basement?!"

"Well, he's best friends with the lamp, he thinks the couch is a tie-dye panda, he tried to eat my cat, he spent three hours staring at a lollipop, and when I let him outside, I showed him how 'not' to open a door. Then he ran around in circles and fell backwards into the pool," she said all in one breath.

"Wow," said Yumi.

"My name's Okami!"

"I'm Kita."

"I'm Yumi."

"Charlie the Unicorn!"

"Okay…."

"So you want us to help you catch him?" Yumi asked hesitantly.

"Yeah! He ran into that ice cream shop!"

The three of them ran into the small ice cream store.

"He's not in here," Kita said.

"Oh well. I'll have chocolate. Two scoops," Okami told the guy behind the counter.

Mello threw a lamp at a nonexistent window. "Where's my chocolate flavored shampoo?!" he screamed.

"I don't know. And how did you get into our part in this story anyway? The script doesn't say anywhere that you come into this scene."

"What script?! I want chocolate!!"

"Um, the script we've been following this whole time. Why don't you go look for it?"

"No! I want my chocolate!"

"You get chocolate if you go look for your script."

Mello ran off to go find his script.

"We have a script?" asked Kita.

"No, I just told him that so he would leave."

"Ohhh. Smart."

"Yes, but he's going to be extremely pissed off when he learns that we're lying to him. So let's go find Sasuke!"

"Wait! This is Light," Okami gestured to Light who she now had on the broken leash. "Next, I'm getting Mello! But I didn't want to put down my ice-cream…."

"You just kidnapped Light?!" Kita screamed.

"Yeah. He was on the ground and I've always wanted a Death Note. Now where's Ryuk?!"

"Ummm, you really think that you can get him to give you the Death Note?" Yumi asked. "I mean, he wouldn't give it to L, and L couldn't outsmart him enough to steal it. You really think that you stand a chance against a genius like that?"

"I have a cat!"

Kita and Yumi stared at her like she was crazy. (Which was true.) "I like cats," Kita stated simply.

"I love Sasuke! And Mello! And Beyond Birthday! And Matt! If you think that you have a chance at catching them, just watch me!"

"Okay, so now begins our amazing hunt for Sasuke!" Kita announced. "Why does everyone look at me weird when I say that?"

"Because it _is _weird, Kita. Nobody in the right mind would say that," Okami answered.

"That was mean, and how do you even know my name?" Kita was quick to defend, forgetting that she already introduced herself.

"I know everything…. Dun-dun-da!" Okami thoroughly scared everyone standing around her.

"Okay… hey! Here's Sasuke!" Yumi handed Okami the ninja and a broken chain leash.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Okami took Sasuke and Light hostage and ran off.

"Well, that was… what's the word for it… interesting, to say the least," Yumi sighed.

"I know. She tires me out just looking at her. I mean, she's _still_ running!" Kita pointed at Okami who was running in circles in the distance.

"Oh, I know! We can go back to Japan and take a huge vacation there. I suddenly want to go there," Yumi suggested.

"That sounds awesome! Do we have the money to do that though?"

"Who needs money? We can just confuse the people until they give us what we want."

"Sounds good. To the airport!"

:~:~:~:

A/N: Ok, that's the first chapter! Did you like it? Please R&R if you think I should I should continue! Thanks for reading! ^^


	2. CHIBIFIED! and on a plane

A/N: Here's the next chapter! If you liked the first, this one's even crazier. Enjoy, and please R&R!

Again, I own NOTHING except for Kita, Yumi, Keiko, and Okami. And again, I apologize for the indentation.

Kita and Yumi ran as fast as they could to the airport because the portal they had was stubborn and would only let them go to Paris Australia.

"We need two tickets to Japan," Kita told the lady at the reception desk.

"May I see your passports, please?" the bored-sounding lady asked.

Kita looked at Yumi for a second. "We don't have passports," Kita turned back to the receptionist and said.

"Then I can't give you tickets."

"But that's why we need to go," Yumi took over. "We need to get to Japan to receive our passports. They're over there, but the person who has them doesn't have a passport, and they can't be mailed because a person who works at the post office who doesn't have a passport said that passports can't be mailed because you need a passport to go out of the county and the passports don't have passports."

"Uh…." The receptionist tried.

"And so see, we need to go to get our passports because no one has a passport to bring the passports back and we need a passport to go over there but we can't get to our passports if you don't let us go through to get our passports," Kita continued.

"Passports," Yumi finished.

"Just go!!!" the receptionist cried, throwing two first-class, round-trip tickets at them.

Yumi and Kita ran off with their tickets and waited to board the flight.

Fifteen minutes later, the sobbing receptionist was fired.

On the plane:

"Chibi Light is on your head," Kita told Yumi.

Yumi picked him up off her head, pinching the back of his shirt. "Here you go," Yumi gave him to Kita. "I have Chibi L."

Chibi Light was suddenly glomped by Chibi Misa.

"Hey! Now I have Chibi Misa, too," Kita held her away from Chibi Light, but Chibi Misa broke free from Kita's grip and was hugging Chibi Light again, as he struggled to get away from his stalker-ish girlfriend, his face beginning to turn blue from lack of air.

"Look! It's Chibi Beyond Birthday!" Yumi held up L's look-alike successor. She looked over at Kita. "Chibi Mello's on your head now."

Kita picked him up. "He's so cuuuute!"

Chibi Mello pulled out his gun.

"Aaaaand now he's not." She handed him off to Okami, who suddenly materialized out of thin air, and then disappeared again.

"Here's Chibi Near," Yumi handed Kita the sheep look-alike.

"Chibi Near!" Kita grabbed him and hugged him to the point of Chibi suffocation.

Yumi gave Chibi L a strawberry that was larger than his head, and he looked like he had died and gone to strawberry-filled Heaven, complete with cake.

Chibi Beyond was eating insane amounts of jam, and he got some on Chibi A's shirt. Chibi A looked down and, being an insane neat-freak since he had serious OCD, passed out. The jam looked like blood and so Chibi Beyond shoved his knife into Chibi A's hand. "It was a suicide!" the mini raven cried out.

"It's Chibi Matt!" Yumi screeched.

All of the sudden, every character from Death Note was in Chibi form and running around. Innocent people amidst the chaos stared at the Chibi characters run around and then immediately took more Aspirin and/or Tylenol. The bottle said 'take two at most'. Did that mean that taking more than that would put them out of their misery?

"Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom…." Gir ran around singing the Doom Song.

"Shut up!" Chibi Light screamed at him. Gir held up his index finger as a sign for him to wait.

"Doom! Okay, I'm done," he said.

Chibi Beyond killed Chibi Takada, and so everyone, including the people who didn't know what was going on, threw a party.

The pilot came out of the cockpit. "Why are you all screaming?!!!!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him.

"Who's flying the plane?" Yumi asked after a moment.

"…."

Everyone who had previously been celebrating was now screaming even louder (like it was possible) and the plane began to crash.

Kita snapped her fingers and she, Yumi, and the Chibis, were all safe in the airport in Tokyo.

"That was close. But what's going to happen to all of the other people who were on the plane?" Yumi asked.

"Oh, that's easy. I turned them into fish," Kita answered like it was the most natural response in the world. Yumi stared at her in absolute shock.

"I like ice-cream!" Chibi L screamed, breaking the semi-awkward silence.

"Me too! I want some sushi now…." Kita trailed off.

"How can you eat sushi after doing such a thing to those poor people?" Yumi asked, following Kita as she dragged Chibi L to the sushi bar in the mall that was conveniently attached to the airport, while Chibi L was struggling to reach the candy store.

Later After A Well Deserved Sushi Break:

"Come on Kita, we need to gather up all of the Chibis and take them to the hotel," Yumi sighed.

"Well, we also got Chibi Mello back. Now, let's see. Chibi Misa is in Hot Topic, Chibi Near is in KB Toys, Chibi Matt is in GameStop, Chibi Light went to either Macy's or Dillard's, Chibi Beyond is here eating more jam, Chibi A was sent to the hospital, the Chibi Task Force and Chibi Watari ran away, Chibi L went to the Godivia store and the bakery, Chibi Takada is dead, and Chibi Mello said something about guns… or explosives."

"You let Chibi_ Mello_ in a store selling _guns_ and/or _explosives?!_" Yumi asked, horrified.

"Yeah…."

"What were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking that I could get a really cool picture for my Facebook."

"You really amaze me sometimes," Yumi shook her head in disbelief.

"I amaze myself!"

"Well anyway, we need to find him before he destroys something."

"I like pie."

"Yeah…."

"Well, let's get on some crack!"

"Um, I think the phrase is 'let's get cracking'."

"Uh, sure. That's what I meant."

With Chibi Matt And Chibi Mello:

"Mello, I'm _bored_," Chibi Matt said for the millionth time as he and Chibi Mello wandered around the mall.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Chibi Mello snarled.

"I want something to do," Chibi Matt whined.

"Go fly a kite!" Chibi Mello shouted.

"But what if it's nighttime outside?"

"It's not nighttime, and even if it was, there's still wind at night."

"But I could get kidnapped!"

"Carry a freaking gun!"

"WE DON'T HAVE A KITE!" Chibi Matt screamed. Chibi Mello rolled his eyes and dragged Chibi Matt to find a chocolate store.

A Cast of Found Death Note Chibis Later:

They reached the five star hotel suite that they had tricked into getting for free. The Chibis ran in all directions as soon as the door was opened, and Chibi Misa immediately ran over to hug Chibi Light. Chibi Matt and Chibi Mello were arguing.

"Matt, where's my chocolate?!"

"Oh… um, about that…"

"Matt…."

"I think it's at Near's hideout."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?"

"Okay, we need to gather them all up and keep them out of trouble," Yumi said to Kita.

"Impossible."

"You're right. The person who said that nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door."

"You can slam a revolving door?!"

"No!" She paused for a moment, "Don't try it."

"Fine…."

"Well, let's get to-"she looked down. "Why is the floor wet?"

They looked at each other in horror and ran to the bathroom. When they opened

the door, a wall of water rushed into the hallway, flooding it and leaving the bathroom a damp disaster.

Yumi and Kita moved the shower curtain to the side to unveil Chibi Mello, Chibi Matt, Chibi Near, and Chibi Misa all sitting in an overturned umbrella in the overflowing bathtub.

"What is this?!" Yumi screeched, gesturing towards the flooded bathroom.

"Near did it!" Chibi Mello pointed to the albino Chibi.

"Don't be idiotic, Mello. You know that the Martians from Venus did it," Chibi Near replied.

"I did _not_ flood the bathroom," Kita huffed.

"Misa-Misa knows! Misa-Misa knows!"

"Who was it, Misa?" Yumi asked her.

"It was Matsuda-chan!"

"He's not even here," Yumi pointed out. "And why did you say 'chan'? Isn't Matsuda a boy?"

"It was Matt's fault!" Chibi Mello now blamed the last Chibi in the misused umbrella.

Ten seconds later, Chibi Matt looked up from the game he was playing on his DSi. "What's going on and why am I sitting in an umbrella?"

"Yeah, I really doubt that, Mello," Kita said.

"Misa-Misa knows! Misa-Misa knows!"

Yumi rolled her eyes. "Who was it, Misa?" she asked again.

"It was Mello-chan!"

"Now that sounds a lot more reasonable," Yumi agreed with the blonde model Chibi this time.

"I'm _**NOT**_a freaking girl!!!" Chibi Mello screamed. "You use the honorifics 'kun' for me!"

"Order in the court!" Kita screamed hitting a random gable on the counter, and everyone was instantly silent.

"Better. Now, we need to figure out who did this. All who vote that Mello killed this innocent bathroom please raise your hands," she continued. Every hand raised, and when Chibi Mello looked up at his own hand, he instantly drew it back down.

"I admit it!" the accused Chibi cried. "I didn't do it!"

"What are you talking about 'you didn't do it'? We all saw you," Chibi Near said.

"You have no proof!"

"Hey, what are Chibi Light and Chibi L doing? They're not here…" Yumi trailed off.

Kita and Yumi heard a muffled argument coming from somewhere near the kitchen.

"The cake is a lie," they heard Chibi Light's voice.

Chibi L began screaming. He screamed… and screamed… and screamed… and screamed some more… and gasped for air… and continued screaming. He finally stopped as Chibi Light clamped a hand over Chibi L's mouth. A muffled squeal finally subsided and silence hung peacefully for about a millisecond.

"The cake is _not_ a lie," Chibi L pouted.

"Believe what you want," Chibi Light shrugged.

"Fine! I will! But you can't make me."

Yumi and Kita jumped slightly at a sudden crash of breaking glass in the kitchen.

"Oh, God," Yumi sighed.

"Yes? Did I hear someone call my name?" Chibi Light asked from the kitchen.

"55%," Yumi and Kita heard L point out. Light cursed under his breath.

"What are you guys doing?" Kita asked, entering the room.

The kitchen looked like a tornado had hit it. There were broken dishes coating the floor, and there was frosting and cake batter all over everything.

"L wanted to bake a cake," Chibi Light answered Kita's question.

Kita and Yumi both face-palmed.

"Why didn't you just order one?" Yumi referred to the cake-batter-covered phone for room-service on the table.

"We can't read," Chibi Light replied.

"Aren't you both supposed to be geniuses?" Yumi asked. "And since when do you need to be able to read to use a phone?"

"Since now!"

"Well then, I'll order one, and you two are going to clean up this disaster!" Kita said. "That goes for you too," she called to the other Chibis.

"Cake!" cried Chibi L.

"Yes, yes, you get your freaking cake already!" Chibi Light screamed at Chibi L. Chibi L kicked him in the face, and Chibi Light was quiet. And bleeding.

"What are we going to do with all of them?" Kita asked Yumi.

"I don't know. We're going to have to think of something. Hey, why don't we return them to their real-person match?"

"That's a great idea! If we do that, we don't have to watch them anymore!"

"That was the point," Yumi said.

"I know," Kita said. "But I just said it again in case you weren't listening to yourself."

"That's a great idea too, because I wasn't listening to myself. Did I say that out loud? I can't hear myself speak!"

"Neither can I!"

"What did you say?!"

"I don't know! I can't hear myself!"

"Waffles!" Chibi Misa screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone held their ears, which were beginning to bleed.

"I can hear myself again, which is strange since that scream should have rendered my ears useless," Yumi said in a normal volume.

"Me too!" said Kita.

"What?!" screamed the Chibis.

"GO CLEAN!" Yumi shouted at the Chibis. They all heard, and their hearing was restored.

"Better. Now let's go call all of the Death Note cast, and the bakery!" Kita said.

8 Phone Calls, 8 Arguments, And A Bunch Of Cleaning Chibis Later:

"You're all going home!" Kita and Yumi announced. The Chibis had finished cleaning, and the place looked like it had before.

"Home? We're going to the Moon?!" Chibi Light asked excitedly.

"No, not the Moon! You are going to Light," Yumi told him. Chibi Light looked down sadly.

"Where's Misa-Misa going?!" Chibi Misa asked eagerly

"You're going to Misa," Kita said.

"Yay! Misa-Misa gets to be with Misa-Misa!" she squealed.

"Uh, yeah…" Yumi said, staring at the strange girl talking in third-person. "Oh! And here's your cake, L."

"Yay!" Chibi L was ecstatic, and immediately dove face-first into the cake.

His head popped up out of the top. "Strawberries!"

"Yes, there's strawberries in the cake," Kita said.

"Now come on! You all need to leave before you break something else," Yumi said.

"Okay," the Chibis said in unison.

So Yumi and Kita returned the Chibis to their rightful originals.

Later That Night Sitting In Front Of The TV:

"So much better," Yumi said.

"I know. They were such a handful."

"More like a bathtub full."

"At least they cleaned everything up, so that we don't have to worry about it."

"How did a bunch of one-foot-tall Chibis manage to do all of that?"

"I don't know, and I'm not going to question it. The point is that it's over."

"Thank. God."

"So what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know. We're in Japan, so we should try cosplaying," Yumi suggested.

"That sounds so fun! Who do you want to be?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Who are you going to be?"

"Chi!" Kita exclaimed.

"Sweet. So should we go shopping tomorrow?"

"Yeah! We're going to get the greatest costumes ever!"

"Of course we are. We can buy Pocky too. I really want Pocky."

"The strawberry kind though. Not the chocolate. The chocolate is disgusting," Kita gagged.

"Agreed. Pocky!"

"So where are we going to shop?"

"There are some really cool Gothic Lolita and cosplaying stores on Harajuku Street that we can check out," Yumi said.

"Yay! I want to dress up in a Gothic Lolita outfit, do you?"

"Of course! They look so cool. And I think that there's a store where you can design and create your own, too."

"I can dress like Misa!"

"Yep!"

"But I would have to be the opposite of her with the Light thing…"

"Yeah, I hope so."

"I'll have to think about it. I think that the cherry blossoms are in bloom now. They're really pretty," Yumi trailed off.

"Yeah they are. I'm tired," Kita yawned.

Yumi yawned too. "Me too. Let's go to sleep so that we can go shopping in the morning."

"Okay," Kita said, and she promptly fell asleep.

Yumi yawned once more and fell asleep too.


	3. Shoe Shopping!

A/N: Hello there! ^^ here's chapter 3~! I hope you like it!

I own NOTHING!

:~:~:~:

In The Morning:

"Yumi! Yumi! Yumi!" Kita jumped up and down excitedly.

"Wha?" Yumi mumbled, still half asleep.

"We're going shopping!"

Yumi perked up. "Who said 'shopping'?"

"I did. We're going shopping on Harajuku Street today, remember?"

"Yay! I love shopping! Hey, don't we still owe those boutiques in France a million dollars?"

"Yeah…."

"Oh well," Yumi shrugged. "Shopping!"

"Well get up, get dressed, and come on!"

"You're still in your pajamas, too, Kita."

Kita looked down. "Oh."

"Well let's get dressed, and then I want to do your makeup!"

"Okay! Will you make my hair all curly-wavy like?"

"Sure."

"Do you know who you're going to be yet?"

"No, I'm still deciding. I'll pick out my favorite when we get there."

"I want to be Chi!"

"From Chobits?"

"Yeah!"

"Cool. Well, there, you're done," Yumi completed Kita's makeup.

"Thanks. Come on!"

Later on Harajuku Street:

"I want to go in there!" Kita pointed out a Gothic Lolita store.

"Okay."

They entered the store to find Zetzu searching through the racks of designer skirts.

"Umm, what are you doing here?" Yumi asked him wearily.

"I'm shopping," he answered.

"Oka~ay," Kita said awkwardly.

"So what are you doing in here?" he asked.

"We're shopping too," Yumi said, looking at a really awesome top.

"Yeah, we want to go cosplaying later today," Kita added.

"That's what I'm doing later, too. But I'm not sure who I'm going as…." Zetzu trailed off.

"Me neither!" Yumi exclaimed. "I have had no good ideas so far." She looked around. "I know! I'll go as Misa!"

"Yay! Now you can get your costume!" Kita exclaimed.

"Hey, do you like this one?" Zetzu asked, holding up a small dress.

"Uh, yeah…." Kita and Yumi answered.

"I think I need a bigger size though," he pulled an XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL off of the rack.

Yumi and Kita stared for a moment, and Zetzu got an idea. "I'm going to buy a whole bunch of these and make them the new Akatsuki uniform!"

"Have fun with that," Yumi said.

Zetzu walked out of the store with the dresses. When the detector went off, he casually kicked it over, whistling.

"_Now _we can shop," Kita said.

"Oh wait! First I need three words for a story prompt that's going to be due soon."

"Okay, um, how about…. lawnmower… asphalt… and… ferret."

"Thank you! The story will be about a ferret that is driving a lawnmower over asphalt."

"Good! Let's shop!"

Yumi sifted through racks of black skirts, looking for something suitable.

"I found one," she told Kita, who was looking through the frilly party dresses. She held it up. It was black with red lace on the bottom, and had a bunch of chains hanging down off of the top.

"I love it!" Kita approved.

Yumi crossed the walkway to find a shirt to match.

"Look at this one," Kita held up a short, turquoise dress. It had three-quarter-length sleeves that were black, and turquoise bows on the ends. There was an over-sized black bow on the back of it, and the ribbon from it that wrapped around her waist was studded. With it she held up black knee-highs with turquoise bows on top, and black, net, wrist-gloves.

"That's so cute!" Yumi complemented.

"Thank you," Kita held it up to the mirror.

"What do you think of this?" Yumi asked, showing Kita a black tank top with a red mock corset. It had black satin bows bunching the sides, and red lace around the low neckline.

"It's amazing!" Kita said enthusiastically.

"Are we going to go buy these?" Yumi asked.

"Yeah, and after that can we go to the store next door to this one? It's a Hot Topic."

"Okay! Wait, are you still looking for a Death Note there?"

"Yeah, I'm hoping to find one soon. If not, I'll just steal Okami's."

"That's not a very good idea," Yumi warned.

"And why is that?"

"Because Okami will hold on to that Death Note for dear life."

"Good point. So if I can't find one in the store, how will I get one?"

"You can steal it from Misa."

"Okay."

"Oh, I know. We need to find shoes to go with our outfits."

"Hey, will that store work?" Kita pointed across the street at a store called 'The Shoe Store'. "Hmm. I wonder what they sell there," she contemplated.

"According to the sign, it's obvious that they sell explosives."

"True. Let's go see!"

"You know, I'm shocked we haven't detonated anything in so long. I want to blow something up now," Yumi said.

"That's just a little bit scary."

"I'm glad you're scared. It makes me sleep easy at night knowing that I induce nightmares upon others," Yumi said sarcastically.

They entered the store, which was a small boutique with shoes of all kinds setting on stands. Kita pick up a shoe, and threw it at a near-by costumer's head. The costumer was knocked unconscious.

"It's the bomb of doom!" Kita exclaimed.

An employee came over. "Why are you throwing shoes at people's heads?" he asked angrily.

"Oh, hey Haiku," Yumi greeted the guy who was standing with his hands on his hips, glaring at them.

"I love your shoes!" Kita looked at the strappy, black slip-ons that he was wearing.

"Oh, thank you," he said sincerely. "So what are you guys doing here?"

"We're looking at the explosives," Yumi said.

"You guys do know that these are shoes, not explosives, right?"

"Maybe, but you can't say that they're not weapons," Kita said, and threw another shoe at someone's head.

"Okay, you got me there," the Haiku shrugged.

"What-cha doing?" a strange voice asked.

"Who are you?" Yumi asked the talking wolf.

"I'm offended. I'm Okami."

"But Okami's a person," Yumi pointed out.

"Touché. And just so you know, I can turn into a wolf at will, hence the name Okami."

"Oh. Makes sense," Kita said.

"Yeah, I's is a wolfie, silly!" Okami said.

"So who are you? You had better not be here to throw more of my shoes around like dynamite. I'm paid by the hour on how well I keep people from throwing the merchandise at other costumers," Haiku huffed.

"How much have you earned? Zero dollars?" Yumi asked.

Haiku hung his head in shame. "Negative three."

"My name is Okami and I am here to eat your face. And Sasuke is going to kill you with the flamethrower!"

"Uh...."

"See? Just like this!" Okami blasted Haiku with the flamethrower that Sasuke handed to her. "Free shoes!" she announced loudly.

Kita and Yumi went shoe shopping like it was pre-paid for. But really it was just because Haiku's death was worth celebrating, and all of the shoes were free because he died and there were no more employees to make them pay for them.

"It's just like the party we threw on the airplane when Takada died!" Kita exclaimed.

"Yeah, just with more shoes!"

"You mean explosives, you silly geese!"

"Isn't it 'silly goose'?"

"Not when I say it."

"What about when Bob says it?"

"Them he just yells at Steve for being a silly geese."

"Who said 'geeses'?" Okami asked.

"You did!" Yumi cried.

"Oh… then I is silly too! I had soda. Soda!" Okami screamed like she was on a huge sugar high.

"I love soda," Yumi trailed off. "And bombs…."

"I love bombs!" agreed Kita enthusiastically.

"Oh, me too!" Yumi exclaimed.

"Oh my god, I'm Beyond-Chan!" Okami said, suddenly looking like the serial killer.

"Where'd Okami go?!" Kita cried, looking around.

"I don't know. Maybe she ran away," Yumi said.

"I will kill you!" Beyond-Chan exclaimed.

"Hey, she's a cosplayer too!" Yumi said.

"Oh. Well that explains it. So is that Okami?"

"Yes, Kita, that's Okami dressed as Beyond Birthday."

"Oh. Okay." Kita said.

"Hey, what's up?" Okami asked, coming up behind them, waving and holding Sasuke and Light on the chain leashes.

Yumi looked at Okami. Then at Beyond. Then back at Okami. And back at Beyond. Then at Okami once more and Kita yelled "Who are you?!" at the person who looked like Okami.

"What are you talking about? I'm Okami," Okami said.

"Then…" Yumi trailed off. "Who's…?"

"Hello. I'm Beyond Birthday," Beyond grinned evilly, holding up a knife.

Yumi and Kita's eyes widened. "Ummmm…."

Beyond pulled out a knife, and Okami's eyes widened. "That's a great idea!" she exclaimed, pulling a third chain leash out of thin air, and holding it behind her back.

Beyond looked at her nervously. "Uh, why do you have that…." He was cut off by the leash choking him.

"Yay! Now I have Beyond, too!"

"Yeah, why don't you take him, you know, somewhere… over in that direction," Kita pointed east.

"Ok!" Okami dragged Beyond, Sasuke and Light all east.

"This is our sign to go west," Kita said.

"Okay. Are we ever going to make it to the cosplaying convention part of Harajuku Street?"

"Possibly. With our luck, probably not."

"Wow, you're being a real downer, huh?"

"Yes, because I can. To Harajuku Street!" Kita pointed to the air above her dramatically, and then walked forward at a seemingly regular pace.

"Let's take the subway," Yumi suggested, gesturing to a sign for one of the many trains that ran underground.

"That's a good idea. Better than walking." Yumi and Kita ran to the train.

After buying their tickets, Kita and Yumi boarded the train and sat down on a bench. A way-too-cheerful man sat next to them.

"Hello!" the man said.

"Uh," Yumi said.

"…Hi?" Kita said.

"Hi! My name's Touta Matsuda! I'm working on the super-secret Kira investigation Task Force! There's not many of us, but we work in this huge building that L had built! Really, I don't know where he gets the money for these projects, but it's huge and has these really cool floating stairs, and-"

"Did you say that L works there?" Yumi asked, suddenly serious, and quite terrifying-looking to the innocent onlooker.

"Yeah, he's leading the investigation, and he thinks that all I can do to help is get him coffee, but I can do more and-" he was interrupted by Yumi again.

"Yeah, yeah, that's nice you're a failure. But _L _works there? He's there now?!"

"He should be, why?"

Yumi turned to Kita. "OH MY GOD, KITA, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?! IT'S REALLY L AND I WANT TO SEE HIM AND MEET HIM AND HUGGLE HIM AND YAY OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!"

"IS BEYOND THERE?!" Kita asked her in an equally high-pitched voice from her excitement.

"YES AND SO IS NEAR!"

"OH MY GOD!!!!" they screamed together.

By this time, all of the other passengers were staring at them, and most were at least mildly freaked out, wondering to themselves if one of the screaming girls was going to go really psycho and try to do something like crash the train. But they wouldn't do that. If they were going to do anything, they wouldn't crash the train. Their plan would involve bombs and other things of the sort.

"YOU HAVE TO TAKE US TO SEE L!" Yumi screeched at Matsuda.

"I don't think I can do that…." Matsuda wondered what L would do to him if he brought the two into the Task Force headquarters.

Yumi got really scary all of the sudden, and Matsuda was painfully reminded of the time that he had accidentally called Edward Elric short. The injuries had taken months to heal.

"Take us to him." Yumi growled, and all Matsuda could do was comply.

:~:~:~:

Thanks for reading! Please review! ^^


	4. Fangirling!

A/N: Here's the fourth chapter of sheer mental-ness!

I own nothing besides Kita, Yumi, Okami and Keiko.

"Um, L, I ran into a little trouble on the subway here, and well, this is Kita and this is Yumi," Matsuda introduced the two sheepishly once they got to the Task Force Headquarters and past the security.

L glared long and hard at Matsuda, until turning his attention to the brunette girl dressed like a cross between a normal fourteen-year-old girl, a ninja, a vampire, and a Siberian White Tiger Mew-Mew, meaning the she was wearing a traditional Japanese shirt, dark jeans, black Vans, she had fangs, and she had white stripped cat ears on the sides of her head. He glanced over at the blonde girl who was about her age, and dressed similarly. The brunette girl, whom Matsuda just called Yumi, was staring at him with an intensity that rivaled his own stare, and he watched her until suddenly, out of nowhere, she glomped him.

"L~!" she clung to him, huggleing him as tightly as she possibly could. "I LOVE YOU!"

L was taken aback, the past five second span involving him being almost painfully huggled by a girl who he'd just met 8.349 seconds ago now playing back through his mind. Yumi looked up for a split second as she heard Kita's shrill squeal fill the air the same way hers had moments before. She knew immediately that Kita had found a Near to huggle. She could also tell that Kita had glomped him due to his strangled gasp for air.

"So why are you hugging me?" L asked Yumi curiously.

"Because you're amazing and I love you and I'm going to kidnap you if you're not careful. You and Matt."

"Um…" L was at a loss for words.

"Don't worry! I'll never hurt you." Yumi continued to hug the bewildered detective.

L was getting used to her, and let Yumi continued huggleing him until she finally stopped.

Kita was huggleing a puzzled albino detective with all her might. Said detective was struggling to breathe, but Kita kept hugging. Finally, Near let out a strangled "Who are you?"

"My name's Kita!"

"Why are you hugging me to death?"

"Because I love you!"

"Do I even know you?!"

"Nope!" Kita said, grinning.

Near gave up trying to get away because he knew that he couldn't manage to.

Suddenly, Matt walked into the room, and Yumi immediately latched onto the gamer with a shrill, "Matt!"

Matt looked down, perplexed as to why and who the girl hugging him was. He looked at L and mouthed "Who is this?". L just shrugged and mouthed "Yumi".

"Uh, Yumi? Why are you hugging me?"

"Because I love you!"

Matt hugged her back and gently pried her off. "Do I know you?"

"No, but you will soon enough." Yumi glomped him again. "I want to see the Camaro."

Matt pulled her off once more, and she adhered herself to L again.

"So, what brings you here, Matt-kun?" L asked the brunette boy.

"Oh, I just came back from my funeral for my DS. I have to go and get a new one," Matt answered.

"What happened?" L asked sympathetically.

"Mello," Matt answered simply. "He was throwing things around, yelling something about finding a script for chocolate. Yeah, I don't know."

"Oh, hello, Light," L glared slightly as he greeted at the insane mass-murderer. The glower was something you would only catch if, like Yumi, you were so close that you were touching your nose to the detective's while he was talking.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," Light returned. He looked at an ecstatic-looking Kita, an over-enthusiastic Yumi, the mildly-creeped-out panda-detective who was locked in a staring contest with Yumi, the half-strangled Near sitting on the floor while Kita hugged him, and the weird person who put so many hyphens in the last sentence. "Who are these two?"

"This is Kita," Near said, somehow managing to keep a monotone voice. "And this is Yumi," L pointed to the girl who was now sitting in L's crouch on the floor next to him.

"Oh, yeah, Light, we have a present for you," Yumi said.

"What is it?" Light asked expectantly.

Yumi threw a glance to Kita, who quickly picked up on it, an evil glint in their eyes. Kita quickly whipped out a package. It was wrapped in pink paper with frogs on it, and the box was riddled with air-holes. She handed it to Light, her and Yumi barely holding in their laughter.

"Why is it full of holes?" Light asked, cautiously.

"So that it doesn't die," Yumi said, matter-of-factly.

"Okay then," Light said, opening the present. "Oh my Kira, it's a hamster! Look, it's so cute, and loveable and adorab- Gah! It bit me!! It freaking _bit me_!!!!! Oh, Kira, GET IT OFF!" Light screamed and flailed the arm that had a hamster stuck to it.

"Meet Hikari," Kita and Yumi said at once. "The Demon Hamster from Heck!"

"Why did you two give me a freaking _demented hamster_?!?!" Light continued to scream as he tried to pry the rodent off of his finger. L was mentally laughing his butt off, and Yumi and Kita were high-fiving each other discreetly. Once Light succeeded, he threw Hikari at Kita and Yumi, who caught the hamster. Hikari sat happily in their hands, and Light looked confused.

"Why isn't it biting you?!" he asked.

"Because Hikari loves us, and Hikari's a _girl_, not an _it_," Kita said.

Light mentally face-palmed, and L was now laughing audibly, and Light attempted to punch him. L ducked and kicked Light in the face, much the same way the Chibis were fighting before.

Light held his injured head, and looked down at Hikari, who was glaring at him, and showing her teeth.

"I hate those hamster things," Light said. "They're like little vampires with those fangs, except they don't sparkle!"

"Would you be more scared of them if they did sparkle?" L asked through his thumb.

"Of course. I don't even want to imagine! They'd be real vampires then!"

Light held his face in his hands, and L took the moment to dump a bottle of glitter over Hikari's head. When Light looked back at the hamster, he screamed.

"Holy, Hikari _is_ a vampire!!! I told you! Run before it kills us all!!!"

"Light," L deadpanned. "You're percentage of being Kira has dropped by 67% for being mortally afraid of a glitter-covered rodent, and there's an 89% chance that you've been reading _way_ too much Twilight."

Light stuck his tongue out at L, L face-palmed, and Kita threw another meaningful glance at Yumi.

"Here, Light," Yumi said, pulling out another gift box. "This one's your real present."

"No way, I don't want that thing," Light backed away from the box that was imminently full of doom.

"This one's not a trick," Kita said, crossing her fingers behind her back. "Promise."

"Fine," Light said, snatching it and tearing the paper off slowly and guardedly. He opened the box to reveal… a cell phone. "Oh, thanks," Light said sincerely, surprised. He flipped open the phone and glanced at the screen. "Hey, what do these numbers mea- oh, crap." Light's face fell and suddenly the numbers that had been counting down reached zero and the phone, and Light, exploded. Then a Spanish Carebear ran up and stole his wallet. Little did Light know though, Mu, or Nothingness, was currently undergoing construction, so his soul was sent to La La Land, a magical place where he would be tortured for all eternity by the mind of an extremely immature fourteen-year-old fangirl, the rest of the Spanish Carebears, and also the Pancake Mafia.

In La La Land, Light was face-first on the ground, being poked by another Spanish Carebear.

Back With L, Near, Kita and Yumi:

Yumi walked over to the other Task Force members who had been watching in terror the entire time. She stopped in front of Aizawa. Hesitantly, she poked his afro, and then began screaming. "Oh my Kira, it's devouring my finger!!!" She yanked her hand out of his hair. "Keep that thing on a leash," she huffed. Aizawa just stared at her, disturbed.

Kita went over to Sochiro. "Hey, Mr. Light's Dad, you know that you have a caterpillar on your lip, right?"

"This is a moustache," he answered. "Not a caterpillar."

"Impossible! This," she tugged, "isn't coming off. You need to take better care of that caterpillar. It has feelings, too, you know."

"Okay," Sochiro figured that the safest thing to do was just agree with her.

Yumi had gotten bored with the others, and went back to L. Kita joined her.

"L, You're going to came cosplaying with us!" Yumi said, tugging on L's arm.

"Wait, what?" L asked.

"You are going to come cosplaying with us!" Kita repeated what Yumi said. "You too, Near!"

"WHEN THE HECK DID WE DECIDE ON THAT?" Near shouted, loosing his usual demeanor.

"I just said so, and so that means that you're coming!" Kita said, yanking on his arm.

"No, I'm not," Near said.

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Fine!" Kita shouted in defeat. "You don't have to come."

Near was surprised that she had given up. "Really?"

"Nope! You're coming with us whether you like it or not!" Kita grabbed L's handcuffs and strapped Near's hands together. Near started trying to pick the lock with one of his toy darts, but dropped it and failed miserably.

"You'll never get away!" Kita laughed evilly, snatching the Lego that he was now bashing into the lock.

"L, help me!" Near cried.

L looked at him and shrugged. "I'm busy," he motioned to Yumi, who was sitting on his lap again.

Suddenly, Kita and Yumi were both holding a huge stereo, and L was staring at the spot on the floor that Yumi was sitting at and, vanished from, rethinking all logic that he thought he had known. They dropped the stereo on the floor, and pressed 'play'.

The techno beat of Caramelldansen blared out of the four large speakers that had recently sprouted out of the ceiling.

Yumi and Kita began dancing, and Kita called for L and Matsuda. "Come dance with us!" She and Yumi continued to dance and sing along to the Swedish/Japanese otaku techno song.

Matsuda and L joined in, and Near stared at them all like he had never seen anything funnier in his life.

"Matt!" Mello screamed at the gamer who was playing a Wii that wasn't there a second ago.

"What?" Matt asked without looking up at the blonde.

"Stop playing _Final Fantasy _at three a.m.!"

Matt looked up at him. "What the heck are you talking about?" he gave him a confused look. "Since when is it three a.m.?"

"Since I said so," Mello clapped his hands, and the sun went down completely, leaving the world outside in darkness, and leaving random bystanders wondering just where the sun went.

"Hey, only I can do that!" Kita clapped her hands, and the sun returned, and the clocks now read three p.m. again.

Mello clapped and made it three a.m. once more, and Matsuda cried out, "Let's have a slumber party!"

Everyone in the room stared at Matsuda.

"For once, Matsuda, you have a good idea," L said.

"Yay! Sleepover!" Kita said excitedly. She was suddenly holding a bottle.

"We're going to play Spin the Bottle?" Near asked.

"What? This is a pipe bomb, but sure, we can play." She spun the bottle and stopped it on Near purposely. She kissed him, and he sat with his eye twitching.

Gaara appeared.

"What are you doing here?!" Yumi asked in shock.

"Who's this?" everyone else asked.

"This is Gaara," Kita said.

"You're just in time to play!" Matsuda said, too dense to sense the impending danger of having a sleep-deprived, irritable sand demon in the room.

"Sure…" Gaara said sarcastically. "Like I would want to play."

"I knew you would!" Matsuda exclaimed.

"Gaara, you can come cosplaying with us, too!" Kita said.

"We are _not_ going cosplaying," Near said again.

"Yes, we are," Yumi said.

"If I do, will you two shut up?" Near asked.

"Yep," Yumi answered.

"Sure," Kita added.

"Probably."

"Maybe not."

"Um, no."

"Yeah, no," Yumi and Kita grinned, Near groaned in defeat, and L took to eating sugar cubes and thinking about nothing in particular.

Yumi and Kita suddenly had their overnight bags, and Near huddled in a corner behind a potted plant.

"On with the sleepover!" Kita dragged Near out from behind the plant against his will.

"So, how exactly do you play Spin the Bottle?"

Kita glanced at each other in horror.

Near tried to warn him. "L, I don't think that you really want to-"

Yumi spun quickly, it landed on L, and she kissed. L sat, shell-shocked, staring at her, eyes even wider than usual.

"Why do you look like that?" Kita asked the detective as she currently clung to Gaara.

"…."

"Well…?"

"…."

"Fine," Kita said sarcastically. "Don't answer me."

"Is that how you play the game?" L finally asked.

"Yes," Yumi said.

"Count me out," L said. Near nodded in agreement.

"Why~?" Kita whined.

"Because," L stated flatly.

"That's it?!" Kita asked, offended.

"Yes, that's it."

"Yumi, get the outfits!" Kita said, and for some reason, everyone in the room felt the atmosphere change for the worse.

"You mean the Lolita dresses?" Yumi asked. Kita nodded. Near and L gulped.

"Okay~!" Yumi sung, and she brought out the outfits.

Kita shoved Near to the ground and tried to get the dress on him to no avail while he struggled to get away. L was contemplating jumping out of the window, but settled on just running out of the room away from Kita and her vengeful streak.

"You're just lucky that I'm not solving things like Beyond," Kita said.

"Yeah," Yumi added. "You're lucky you've never seen her solve things like that. There was blood… and the knife… and the foot in the bathtub… it was fairly horrifying."

"It was the whole leg," Kita corrected.

L came back into the room. "Is it over?" he asked cautiously.

"L!" Kita jumped at him. He ducked to the side, and Yumi caught Kita.

"Kita, don't just jump at people like that," Yumi scolded. "You could give them a seizure. Or was it asthma? Diabetes? Extreme confusion? Amnesia? Oh well. Who are you?"

"Sorry," Kita said.

Suddenly, it was the morning again, and again the normal people who were living regular lives were wondering just what the heck happened to the sunlight for the second time in the span of four hours.

"So are you all _always _this crazy?" Gaara questioned innocently.

"Yes," Yumi answered bluntly.

"Why, are you?" Kita asked Gaara.

"Sure…."

"To Paris Australia!" Yumi cheered and suddenly held another crate.

"Oh, God."

Gaara tried to run, but Kita caught him.

A/N: Little bit of a cliff hanger ^^ Please reviewif you like it or if you think that I'm wasting my time posting this XD . But no flames. Flamers get hit over the head courtesy of this fire extinguisher! Thanks for reading!


	5. Cookies? Where?

A/N: Chapter 5! R&R please~!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Kita, Yumi, Okami, and Keiko.

In La La Land:

"Wake up!" Light was kicked by squirrel.

"Who the freak are you?!" Light screamed like a girl.

"I am The Evil Muffin Toaster!" the squirrel announced.

Light just stared at him. "So you're a demented squirrel named "The Evil Muffin Toaster"?"

"I'm a _CHIPMUNK_, and yes," The Evil Muffin Toaster answered.

"And, why are you here?"

"Because I'm supposed to kill you, or just steal your watch."

"Uh, here," Light handed The Evil Muffin Toaster his Rolex watch.

"I don't want your watch!" The Evil Muffin Toaster snatched it and put it on his tail.

"I thought that you didn't want the watch!"

"Oh, well I'll take it anyway, but I'm taking you to McDonalds!"

"NO!!! I'm going to get fat!" Light screamed and clawed the ground as The Evil Muffin Toaster dragged him by his ankles to the McDonalds that appeared out of thin air.

"I'll throw the food at you!" Light warned.

"Throwing food at stalkers doesn't make them go away," The Evil Muffin Toaster chided, ordering 17 Big-Macs for Light.

With Yumi, Kita, L, and Near (who were forced into their dresses):

Kita and Yumi dragged L and Near to Harajuku street.

"We're here!" Kita said.

"Nee hao!" a cosplayer came up to them and said hello in Chinese.

"You're not Chinese!" Kita yelled at him as he stalked away.

Near and L were clad in their frilly dresses, and were being swarmed by other cosplayers because the cosplayers thought that they were normal people cosplaying as Near and L cosplaying. People admired Yumi and Kita's outfits, and the way that Kita had instantly grown her hair to the floor and sprouted robotic cat ears from the sides of here head.

"Matsuda!" Kita cried upon spotting the blundering detective.

"You know," Yumi started as more people took their pictures, "weren't we planning to go to North America?"

"Yeah, we were, weren't we? We should go now!"

"We're just going to leave L and Near?"

"Why not? They can get home on their own. We were their only obstacle."

"Okay then! We're going to need another portal."

"No problem!" Kita opened a water bottle and a portal appeared.

"I'm not going to question how you did that, so let's go!" Yumi and Kita jumped through the blue spiral.

With Light in La La Land:

"I'm getting out of here!!" Light attempted to

Through The Portal!:

"…Kita?" Yumi asked hesitantly.

"Yes?" Kita asked.

"Um, where are we?" Yumi looked around, confused.

"We're in a cookie factory!"

"I thought we were going to the United States!"

"This cookie factory is in L.A."

"Okay then," Yumi shrugged.

"So what are we supposed to do in a chocolate factory?" Kita asked.

"I thought this was a cookie factory? And this reminds me of a movie… you know the one with that one guy, what's-his-name does that thing, and kills that one person, you know? Yeah. Oh well, you know what they say, "When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate"."

"I heard that "If life gives you lemons, you throw them back and say you wanted lemonade". That, and "When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and leave everyone wondering just how the heck you managed that"."

""When life gives you lemons, use them to squirt lemon juice into the eyes of your enemies." So why are we talking about lemons in a chocolate factory?"

"Didn't I say that this was a cookie factory?"

"You did… well, I'm-a-gonna go and see if these people make chocolate chip cookies."

"Yay! My favorite."

"Hey, you, you with the giant cookie!" Yumi called to the nearest worker.

"Yeah, what? Who are you?" the guy asked.

"I'm Yumi! Is this a cookie factory?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Answer my question. Do you make cookies in this factory?" Yumi glared evilly at him.

"Yes, but what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here if you don't work here. I can turn you in."

"Kita!" Yumi called behind her, openly ignoring the random worker's threat. "They _do _make cookies here!"

"There's _another one_ of you?!" the worker asked.

Yumi turned back to him and Kita ran up behind her. "Can I get your name, please?"

"Uh, I'm Bill…."

"Okay, Bill. Can you make chocolate chip cookies?"

"Yeah, but-"

"What color are you socks?" Kita chimed in.

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Bill was almost screaming. The other workers around him looked at him like he was insane, because he was screaming at thin air. He turned to them.

"Don't you see these two?! Why are you looking at me like that?!"

"Hey, Bill? You know that you're talking to the air, right?" his friend Joe asked in a concerned tone.

Kita reached out and touched Joe. Then she turned to Bill. "We're Shinigami. You can only see us if we touch you."

"Kita! When did we die?!" Yumi screeched.

"Quite a while ago," Kita said in an eerie voice. "Before this whole adventure began."

"I am shocked and dismayed," Yumi said.

"Are you appalled?" Kita asked.

"No, just shocked and dismayed."

"Well, that's too bad because I was joking. We're alive. And you guys," she addressed Bill and Joe, "couldn't see us because we're ninjas."

"Vampire ninjas," Yumi corrected.

"Yes, vampire ninja mew-mews."

Joe and Bill didn't know what to say to that, so they stayed silent.

Mello suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Oh my god, it's a chocolate factory!"

"Where did you come from?!" Yumi asked.

"Um, you know, over there?" Mello pointed to the wall.

"We realized that you came from a wall, now how?" added Kita.

"Uh, you know, I have no idea. But I'm here, and this is a chocolate factory!"

"Um, this is a cookie factory," Joe said to him.

Mello hung his head in sadness. "Aww."

"We make chocolate chip…" Bill tried to cheer Mello up because Mello was reaching for his revolver.

"That'll work." Bill led Mello over to the huge pile of chocolate chips that were going to be used for the chocolate chip cookies.

"Do you two think that you can get out of here on your own?" Joe asked Kita and Yumi.

"Sure," they answered him in unison.

"Alright, the exit is on your left. I have to get back to work."

"We don't want to hear about your pathetic life," Kita said.

Joe just gave her an odd look, and left. Suddenly, two other people appeared out of nowhere.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! What are you two doing here?" Yumi screeched in delight when she saw the twin boys.

"Um, do you know them?" Kita asked. "And which one's which?"

The brunette twins grinned. "I'm Hikaru, and I'm Kaoru," they said in unison.

"Well that's no help," Kita huffed.

"This one is Hikaru," Yumi pointed to the one on the left, "and this one's Kaoru," she pointed to the one on the right.

"Thank you," Kita got over her momentary confusion.

"Where are you going?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked at he same time.

"See, we can speak in unison, too!" Yumi and Kita said together. "We're going to explore America, Canada, and then possibly Antarctica."

"That sounds cool." Kaoru and Hikaru kept talking in unison. "So what were you two doing before you got here? We're still in the Host Club."

"We've been spreading laughter and happiness to everyone who meets us," Kita answered.

The Hitachiin twins shared a glance. "You've been breaking the law again, haven't you?"

"Pretty much, yep," Yumi beamed.

"See, I don't call it "breaking the law" so much, because those laws were created for humans, not vampire ninjas. So since there are no rules or laws directed towards our kind, then we're free to do whatever we please," Kita reasoned.

"That's a very good point. So I guess that we haven't been breaking too many laws. Just the one that says that vampire ninjas can't harass the characters of various animes," Yumi told her.

"There's a law that says that?!" Kita was shocked.

"Yeah, it says that we can't do that, and that crossovers aren't allowed. Both are broken by most people."

"Alright then, we're fine."

Hikaru and Kaoru were startled as a small, blonde, weapon of mass destruction appeared.

"Hika-chan! Kao-chan! Yumi-chan! Kita-chan!"

"Hunny-sempai!" Yumi glomped the way-too-small-to-be-an-eighteen-year-old boy.

"Hi, Yumi-chan!" Hunny beamed.

"Hello people of Earth, I have come to take your grass!" Yumi exclaimed suddenly.

Kita looked startled. "Grass? Why grass? And aren't you from Earth too?" she asked.

"…Yes, but that's beside the point."

"You all are weird," Hikaru said abruptly.

"Huh?" Kita, Yumi, Light, Hunny, Kaoru, and a random pot of grass, all stopped what they were doing and stared at Hikaru. Then they all spun around to behold the latest interruption.

"When did you get here?!" Kita noticed Light.

"I'll kill you all with my handy dandy… notebook!" Light responded, holding up the Blues Clues notebook.

"…."

"Didn't you die?" Kita continued.

"Almost," Light shrugged.

"Yumi, get the ukulele!" Kita ordered.

"Okay!" Yumi began to play the ukulele, and L appeared using his hand as a gun. He shot Light multiple times, and Light collapsed, dead, to the cheerful music of the ukulele.

"Now, we post this on Youtube, calling it "LIGHT GETS SHOT WHILE WE PLAY UNFITTING MUSIC".

"Watari! Come put this on Youtube!" Yumi called.

Watari appeared and posted the video on the website on the portable computer he always carried with him.

Takada came rushing in, breaking down the door. "What happened to Light?!" she exclaimed.

"Uh, you know, he um… exploded," Kita explained.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah…."

"Would you like to see him?" Yumi asked.

"Yes!"

"Okay." They shrugged and shoved her off of a cliff. She went splat at the bottom. Then she spontaneously combusted. Beyond Birthday walked away whistling inconspicuously, carrying a totally innocuous unsuspicious lighter and gasoline.

"Yes! That's the next Youtube video!"

"Did you get all of that?"

"Yeah, we got it. Watari, will you upload it?"

The butler/baker/sniper/ inventor/ Youtube expert came and posted the video.

"_**WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN HERE, STILL?!?!?!?" **_Bill's boss came in, screaming a lot louder than most people thought possible of a human. Perhaps that's why he had the job. He scared his way to the top, and people tend to listen to inhuman yelling rather than reason.

Everyone in the stared in shock and fear at the newest intrusion. Except for Yumi and Kita, who had inexplicably disappeared behind a refrigerator.

"_**I THOUGHT WHAT'S-HIS-NAME,"**_ he glanced at the note card he held that described the complaint that was filed by Bill a few moments ago. _**"…BILL TOLD YOU ALL TO GET OUT! HE SAID TO KICK OUT TWO CAT-GIRL-NINJA… THINGS AND ANYONE WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T WORK HERE!"**_

"You need your workers to tell you who works for you?" Yumi asked, her and Kita emerging from the confines of behind the refrigerator.

"_**YES BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHO WORKS FOR ME, JUST AS LONG AS THEY GET THEIR JOBS DONE, AND I'M GETTING PAID, WHICH IS SECURE AS LONG AS NOBODY DIES!"**_

Yumi smacked him over the head with a fish.

"_**WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?" **_he roared.

"I was living in the moment, and the moment told me to smack you with a fish," Yumi shrugged.

"Well it was completely uncalled for," Bill's boss, named George, said.

"Hey, you talked normally!"

"Oh, um, yes I can do that on occasion," George said.

"Really?"

"_**NO**_."

"If it will make you be quiet, we'll leave immediately," Yumi offered.

"Okay then. Get out," he spoke normally once more.

"Fine! We will! Be that way," Kita huffed. "Let's go!" Everyone followed her out. As soon as they made it outside, everyone left, and Kita and Yumi were bored.

"We're out now, so what do we do?" Yumi asked.

"Well, we can go and make fun of that person over there," Kita pointed to Keiko who was unfortunately about to meet Yumi and Kita once more. They went up to her.

"Your hair looks like a family of magpies decided to make it their happy home," Yumi commented.

"And then died," Kita chimed.

"Yes, don't forget the dying part," Yumi nodded in agreement.

"What possessed you to make a comparison like that?" Keiko screeched at them.

Then she realized who they were, and made note of her escape routes.

"… Pie," Kita said,

"Ooh, pie! Pi makes you smart! See? 3.1415926537.…" Yumi began to recite pi.

"And Skittles!" Kita cheered.

"Skittles!!!" Yumi looked around frantically. "Where?"

"How can I fix it?" Keiko asked.

"There are very few things in life that can't be solved with the suitable applications of high explosives," Kita informed her.

Light appeared suddenly once more, and Keiko escaped again.

A/N: Another cliffhanger! Thanks for reading, please review!


	6. Kira Clause and the Box of Sanity!

A/N: AAAaaand, here's chapter 6! XD Killing Light one more time, ad hopefully the last! Right, as if.

"How many times do we have to kill you before you actually DIE?!" Kita seethed at Light.

"I don't know but- RYUK! GET OUT OF THAT TREE!"

The apple-obsessed Shinigami flew out of the tree he was perched in. "Sorry, Light. I just saw the red things in that tree, but they turned out to be lemons…."

"Lemons are yellow," Light pointed out.

"With the Shinigami eyes, everything is red! The sky, the ground, your face…."

_Light just held up a sign that read, "YOU MAY NOT_ GIVE THE SHINIGAMI APPLES", written on a piece of the Death Note.

Yumi stared at the sign for a moment. "Where did you get that? Didn't Okami take your Death Note?"

"Oh, I got another one for Christmas," Light answered with a shrug.

Yumi and Kita began to sing. "Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout or you're gonna die, Kira Claus is coming to town!" Then Yumi proceeded to climb on his lap.

"Kira Clause! I want a pony!" She demanded.

Light just looked at her. "What are you-"

"With laser vision!"

"How do you expect me to-?"

"And a walrus!"

"Get off of me!!" Light shoved her off his lap.

Yumi glared at Kira Clause. "Hey, Ryuk the Red Apple-d Shinigami, guess what? All of the world's apple trees just died of… cholera… and so now only Light can save them, but he only will if you ask him to repeatedly for the rest of his life and never stop. And if he says to stop, then you just ask more often, and louder. Then you have to follow him around and make him heal each tree in the world individually. Then you'll have all the apples in the world and be the Apple King!"

"Liiiiiiiight! Come on and heal the trees! I want apples! Go fix them now! Please, please, please, please, please…." Ryuk started whining.

"Shut UP!" Light held his hands over his ears. Ryuk took it as a sign to ask louder. "LIGHT! COME ON COME HEAL THE TREES! I WANT AN APPLE AND- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

"Sorry, Ryuk. You lost me at "LIGHT!"" Light rolled his eyes in a girl-like fashion.

"But the trees! The trees will die and then Global Warming will take effect and then all you humans will die and then we can't kill you so all of us Shinigami will die and then the world will EXPLODE and then-"

"Ryuk, is your imagination _overheating _again, by any chance?" Light asked.

"Possibly, but that's not the point. The point is that we're all going to die. You might be an optimist, but I most certainly am not. See? Now I'm starting to talk all smart like you. That means a cow just spontaneously combusted and so a family will starve and-"

"_**RYUK!"**_

"Sorry."

There was a beeping sound from Light's iphone. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen, and Kita and Yumi looked over his shoulders at it. Kita attempted to poke the phone, but Light smacked her hand away. There was a commotion of people on the screen, and then a man in his early twenties with black hair, wearing a suit, came up. His nametag read "Mikami", and he began to yell into the microphone.

"Hey Kira look I'm on TV remember me and I'm like your biggest fan and oh my god I can't believe you chose me and I'm so honored you are the best and we would make such a great team and maybe I can get you coffee and we could talk about creating a new world and you've been my idol since I was a kid so you are sooooo cooooool and you need more worship and I can't believe that I'm talking to you and I can help you out and you are so awesome and I bet you're pretty and smart and sophisticated and you have a really cool sense of style and don't worry you know your secret is safe with me and oh my god Kira I would defiantly sell my soul to you although maybe I kinda already did but you so deserve it you're so freaking awesome don't worry I'll do a good job and make you proud of me and Kira Kira Kira Kira I love love love you soooooooooo much we could be like best friends and then we'd be best friends forever and I'd love that and…."

Light just stared, a little disturbed, at his phone. Mikami kept on rambling, and Light pressed one of the apps on his phone, and Mikami materialized in front of them.

"GOD!" Mikami screamed, hugging Light as tightly as possible.

"Are you done?" Light asked.

Mikami hung his head. "Yes, God."

"Good. Now I'd like you to go and jump off of a bridge and kill yourself, and then get me a cheeseburger."

"Don't encourage him to commit suicide!" Yumi scolded. "Make Takada kill him and then kill herself. And we also want cheeseburgers."

"…That's a good idea. I like it. Mikami, now you can do that. Find Takada for me!"

"Yes, my lord!" Mikami ran away and brought back Takada's splattered corpse.

Kita flipped out. "This isn't rated for that kind of image!" she shouted.

"Sorry!" Mikami turned Takada back into a living person again.

"Li~ight!" Takada clung to Lightbulb Imagay.

Yumi leaned over to Kita. "I'm not allowed to tell Mikami that the "God" asked for a cheeseburger like an hour ago, am I?"

"No, I don't think so," Kita said.

"Okay, well I'm not responsible for his blood, therapy, or peanut butter consumption."

"Neither am I."

"God, how can I help you now?" Mikami asked, reverence evident in his voice.

"If you want to help me, go die in a ditch," Lightbulb answered. "And now I feel like singing like a pony!" He disappeared for a moment, and then returned, and they were all in a hotel room for some unfathomable and unrealistic reason.

"I'm flying. On a moose. In outer space. And I stole the moose form a circus in Russia!" Everybody in the room stared at Light because he was babbling like the idiot that he was. "Come on, Mello!" Light screamed, grabbing Mello, who was there for some reason unknown to them all.

"When pigs fly," replied Mello.

-Somewhere On a Farm in Canada-

"Look, Uncle Jimmy! Them piglets is flyin'!"

-Back To Yumi, Kita, Mello And Light-

Mello had an eye twitch moment, and then Light grabbed him and threw him out the real window (which was on the 107th floor). Okami caught him and put him on a leash and dragged him away, laughing evilly.

"I am Kira!" Light screamed to the Heavens that he would never go to. "…Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did," Yumi told him.

"Umm… faster, moose! Faster!" he tried to fly away. Kita grabbed him.

"Give us the Death Note," she said.

"Or spell you last name backwards!" Yumi added, laughing.

"No! I'll never give you my power!" Light clutched the notebook desperately, and Kita grabbed it from him.

"Hey, is this the Death Note? I didn't know it existed," Kita said.

"Epic fail!" Yumi laughed at Light.

"I'm just kidding. Of course I knew it existed. But, Yumi, look! We have the Death Note!" Suddenly the lights went out and only one was illuminating her face. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" She gave an evil Kira-laugh.

"So what does my name spell backwards?" Light asked, curious.

"*Cough* YOUR NAME SPELLS I'M A GAY *cough*" Yumi fake coughed.

"You know, you should take some medicine for that cough," Light told her.

Yumi and Kita just shook their heads in pity for Light's immense stupidity.

The pigs were now somewhere near Mars, and Mello burst through the door gripping his revolver. He shot Light though the head several times, and turned to walk out of the room, muttering something about hating Near.

Kita and Yumi stared at each other, wondering if they should help Near.

"Do you think we should help him?" Yumi asked.

"I don't know, but I really want some Canadian bacon."

"To IHOP!"

They went to IHOP, and sat down at a table by the window. Their waitress came over. "What would you like today?" she asked them.

"Canadian bacon," Kita answered.

"Um, you mean back bacon," the waitress corrected.

"It's only "back bacon" if you're in Canadia," Yumi pointed out.

"Yeah, we're in America, so it's Canadian bacon," Kita agreed.

"No, you two are in Canada."

"What do you mean we're in Canadia?!" Yumi screeched.

"No, _Canada._ And I don't know what you're doing here, but I'll be right back with your bacon."

" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Kita screeched.

"No, you… _don't _want bacon?" the waitress asked, confused.

"No, I want my bacon, I just thought that we were in America," Kita answered.

"No, you're in Lherias Aloenf, Canada," the waitress answered with a smile.

"…I can't even pronounce the name of where we are," Yumi said to Kita.

"Neither can I," Kita said.

"Neither can I!" the waitress put in.

"…Do you know how pathetic that is?" Yumi asked her.

"…Quite," the waitress answered.

"I'm starting to believe that you have the intelligence level of a gherkin," Yumi told her.

"What?" the waitress asked.

"Translated as, 'you're about as smart as a pickle'," Kita explained.

The waitress just blinked at the odd comparison.

Kita held her cat, Luna, up and dunked her in a water glass.

"Kita! Cat's aren't water-resistant!"

"Ohh… um, is that why she's dead?"

Luna meowed once.

"No, she said that she's just playing so that you'll let go of her and she can run away."

"Meow, meow, meow!" Luna meowed.

"Now she said, "goodbye.""

"My turn! Meow!" Kita impersonated a cat. "I like cats."

"I know you do," Yumi patted her head. "I know you do."

"How do you know how to speak cat?" Kita asked.

"Because I'm part cat." Yumi pointed to the cat ears on the top of her head.

"Oh. I knew that."

"What's wrong with you two?!" the waitress lost the composure she held with customers so that she didn't lose her job.

"Well, fangirling killed my last shred of sanity, so I really don't know," Kita answered.

"Mine, too," Yumi answered. "My sanity was brutally murdered."

The waitress just looked at them like they were covered in ketchup and had just escaped from the mental asylum.

"We assure you, we're perfectly sane," Kita said to her.

"You go on believing that…" the waitress left, backing away slowly, to get their bacon.

"We're outside the Box of Sanity," Yumi clarified.

"Yeah… I'll be right back," the waitress said, and she ran away.

"Why do they always do that?" Kita asked.

"The mortals get scared easily," Yumi shrugged.

"Ah, yes, the mortals…."

"You've got to love the mortals."

"I like making their blood run cold. They look so funny when they're horrified. What are you doing?"

Yumi slowly lowered the cleaver. "I was putting the laughter back into manslaughter."

"Ah. I want to help!"

Yumi handed her another cleaver. Kita raised it above her head, ready to kill the man sitting in the booth behind her. The man's wife screamed like the people in cheap horror movies, and it led everyone around her to think that her bad acting skills meant that she didn't care whether he was killed or not.

"No. Hold your horses," Yumi said, putting a hand up to stop Kita's cleaver, which was going down in slow-motion.

"I haven't got any horses…" Kita looked around, putting the giant knife down.

"Then go buy some."

"The pet store is closed."

"Since when do you buy a horse at a pet store?"

"….Ponies!"

"You're such a silly taco!"

"I must obey!" Kita snapped up.

"What?" Yumi was confused.

"I must obey the taco man!" Kita said in an enthusiastic monotone like a robot.

"Kita, you're not Gir!" Yumi reminded her.

"Oh, yeah," Kita went back to normal.

"Stop smiling like that! It's creepy."

"I can't. I think I'm stuck," she said, still grinning evilly.

"Here's your bacon!" The waitress came, and placed the two plates on the table.

"Wh-what?! What do you mean?! Can't you see it's the end of the world??! APOCOLAPSE!!ARMAGEDDON! ANTI-DISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM!!" Yumi screamed at the poor waitress.

"You forgot to take your meds again, didn't you?" Kita asked her.

"…..No…." Yumi looked around innocently, slipping the pill she had forgotten to

take into her mouth and swallowing discreetly.

Kita and the waitress were both staring at her.

"Whoever forgets what just happened gets a cookie!" Yumi said.

In the background, crickets began chirping.

"….Darn those automated crickets…."

Light bust through the IHOP doors dramatically. "I want some pancakes!"

Kita and Yumi stared at him for a moment before Kita screamed. "YOU'RE ALIVE _**AGAIN**_?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? HOW IS THAT EVEN _**POSSIBLE**_?! YUMI! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE WITNESSED HIS DEATH SO FAR? AND HE'S STILL NOT STAYING DEAD! HE'S A ZOMBIE! …Wait… if he's a zombie… then…."

"Exactly," Yumi's grin widened to match Kita's. Light looked at them nervously.

"Hey Light! Have a potato chip!" Yumi held up an explosive chip for him.

"POTATO CHIP!!!" Light stood up and held the potato chip high above his head, with completely no regard for the pair of evilly grinning and plotting girls. "I'll take this potato chip… and EAT IT!!!!"

Kita and Yumi hid behind two bomb-resistant shields.

_CRUNCH, _Light bit into the potato chip.

The chip began to speak in a friendly recorded voice. "Beep beep beep! Thank you for choosing Pringles! Your potato chip will now self-destruct."

"What the-?!" Light blew up for -hopefully- the last time.

"You know, he came in here asking for pancakes. I'm surprised that he didn't want the Death Note back," Yumi said.

"You're right. Oh well. More weapons of mass destruction for us!"

"Yay! Weapons of mass destruction!"

Every person in the restaurant was looking absolutely terrified, like they though that they were in the room with two terrorists.

"I think that they think that we're terrorists…" Yumi whispered to Kita.

"That's silly," Kita whispered back. "If anything, we'd be labeled as _potential _terrorists. We're not trying to kill them."

"What about the thing with the cleavers?"

"…They have a fairly good reason to be afraid, then."

"Yeah. Maybe we should take our bacon and leave…."

"Yeah. That's a good idea."

They fled the restaurant carrying their plates of bacon, and as soon as they got outside, they ate the bacon and ditched the plates by giving them to a couple of random hobos who decided to wear them as hats.

Yumi and Kita made it to another hotel, and Light appeared, _**AGAIN**_.

"_**WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?!?!?!?!?!" **_Kita and Yumi both screamed in unison, so loudly that Lightbulb Imagay's ears spontaneously combusted.

"Hey, Yumi, you know what?"

"What?" Yumi answered.

"Since he doesn't die, we can torture him."

"Great! I have an idea!"

"What is it?"

"L~l!" Yumi called for the detective while duct taping Lightbulb to the wall.

L came, and Yumi ran up to cling to him. "We need you to listen to this ipod," she said, handing him the Mp3 player.

"Okay…." L put the earphones in his ears.

The first song came on, and L began singing without realizing it. He was really good, until the moment Yumi was predicting. She silently handed Kita a pair of earplugs.

L jumped in front of Lightbulb and began to sing at the top of his lungs, "CUZ SWORDFISHES LOVE YOU JELLYFISHES LOVE YOU STARFISH-!!"

"I LOVE YOU!!!!" Yumi shouted to L to finish the line.

"SHUT UP!! You have the worst singing voice in history!!" Lightbulb screamed like a girl at L who couldn't hear him.

The song was over, and L could then hear Lightbulb's unwanted comments on his singing voice. "I thought I sounded pretty good…."

"You did!" Kita assured him.

"What, are you tone-deaf?!" Lightbulb whipped his head around to ask her.

"I know YOU are but what am I?" Kita huffed.

"… Crazy?" Lightbulb tried.

"WHAT? I'm not crazy!"

"Well I'm not tone-deaf!"

"Or are you?" Yumi asked.

"Am I?" Light questioned.

"I don't know. Does this hurt?" Kita screeched in his ear.

"Yes!" Light clutched his ear.

"Then you can hear tones just fine," she smiled at him.

"Yeah, not anymore," he fell over due to his loss of balance from the screech affecting the liquid in the back of his ear.

"We need a doctor! Or some superglue and duct tape…." Kita said, and then she started screaming.

"What's wrong?" Yumi asked, startled.

"Nothing," Kita answered, looking at her oddly.

"What do you mean nothing? You were just screaming a second ago."

"Was I? Oh." She looked down. "Oh my gosh, my shoe is gone!" She began screaming again.

"NOOOES! Wait, why?" Yumi stopped.

"I don't know, and I really don't care. But it's **GONE**!"

"Dun, dun dun dun, da dun, dun dun dun, da dun dun" L sang the mission

impossible song as he sat down on a chair by the desk.

"Exactly!" Yumi exclaimed.

"What?" Kita asked.

"…I don't know, but who cares?" Yumi answered with a shrug.

"Hello!" Tamaki dramatically burst into the room.

"Tamaki?!" said Kita and Yumi.

"That's right!" Tamaki flipped his hair, and the roses suddenly appeared.

"How is that even possible? Where do the flowers even come from?" Yumi asked.

"You're an annoying narcissist," Kita told Tamaki.

He froze, and was suddenly across the room. Tamaki whimpered from his Emo corner; the mushrooms were coming along great this year.

Kita pulled a phone off of the table and called the front desk. "I'm in room 305 and we have an… _unidentified _object in the corner of our room. Will you please come pick it up?"

"We'll be up in a moment; I apologize for the inconvenience," the desk clerk hung up, looking disturbed. He called for a lower-ranking employee. "Please go to room 305," the desk clerk instructed the boy.

"Okay!" the employee replied.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review~!


End file.
